Wednesday, August 31, 2005

be careful what you wish for...:) some people (you know who you are), will remember my complaints of nothing to do and not knowing anyone[a couple of years ago now]. ah, i wonder what happened to days with nothing to do? life is unbelievably busy. my sister and brother-in-law were here from california, the same weekend that i moved. we went to a wedding reception luncheon for his brother, who married a girl from peru. they took me to dinner in poulsbo. i read the epistle for divine liturgy on sunday. had choir practice after coffee hour to prepare for our hierarchal liturgy with bishop benjamin in september. afterwards went to seattle with my sister, brother-in-law, and his whole family, two car loads of people. thursday i have my russian lesson with olga. friday meet with fr c for music theory, and soon book club will start again. i'm still unpacking. the general consensus is this place is much better than the last one and very cute. i step out of my door and am taking a walk in the woods.
my sister brought me some gifts from my mom, from her latest adventure. a small book in russian about the st aleksander nevsky cathedral in estonia, a small icon of st aleksander nevsky, stacking dolls, a russian folk music cd, and a russian silk icon diptych of christ and the theotokos. oh, and some nasty double salted licorice from sweden. phooey, at least she didn't know it was double salted.

Wednesday, August 24, 2005

less than two days to go till the move!
i'll feel so much better, especially since i found mold. yuck. it explains a lot of things, like my fibromyalgia symptoms. i already dealt with this once, living with my sister.

Thursday, August 18, 2005

i'm tired, and i've got piles of boxes sitting around. i really am trying to get rid of more stuff. it's hard to keep a lot when you've moved what will be seven, no, eight times in five years. [argh] i'm really praying this will be the last for a while, but i thought the same thing a year ago. so whatever God wills. they asked me to work a double shift on my day off tomorrow: 6am till 10:30pm. besides the fact that i am busy getting ready to move, that would have me working 11 days in a row! i am not that crazy! this is how tired i am, i actually left without handing off the keys to my medcart. we counted the narcotics. i walked downstairs, clocked out, and walked across the street to where my truck was parked at the post office. i started the engine, looked down and saw the pink rubber cord of the keys hanging aroung my neck. at least i didn't drive all the way home. i haven't done that in a long time. i'm tired.

i went to Holy Resurrection in Tacoma last saturday for the slavonic liturgy(and to see mimi), and fr john had a few comments on the Gospel reading that i have been thinking about all week.
"He who is not with Me is against Me, and he who does not gather with Me scatters abroad. Therefore I say to you, every sin and blasphemy will be forgiven men, but the blasphemy against the Spirit will not be forgiven men. Anyone who speaks a word against the Son of Man, it will be forgiven him; but whoever speaks against the Holy Spirit, it will not be forgiven him, either in this age or in the age to come. Either make the tree good and its fruit good, or else make the tree bad and its fruit bad; for a tree is known by its fruit. Brood of vipers! How can you, being evil, speak good things? For out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks. A good man out of the good treasure of his heart brings forth good things, and an evil man out of the evil treasure brings forth evil things. But I say to you that for every idle word men may speak, they will give and account of it in the day of judgement. For by your words you will be justified, and by your words you will be condemned." Matthew 12:30-37
fr john spoke about "the blasphemy of the holy spirit" and what that means. that it means when you don't allow the Holy Spirit to work in you, that's blasphemy(the blasphemy that Christ is referring to here). simply put, God cannot forgive and work in us through the Holy Spirit if we don't allow Him to.
( i think that was basically it, and mimi can correct me.)

Thursday, August 11, 2005

when i was at st herman's on tuesday i bought a cd of the nuns of st paisius serbian orthodox monastery, spiritual songs of st nikolai velimirovic. it's really beautiful.

Wednesday, August 10, 2005





pictures from last friday in port townsend. the dog is "t-lou".

another internet quiz, thanks to my friend and fellow book-lover, mimi :)




You're Watership Down!

by Richard Adams

Though many think of you as a bit young, even childish, you're
actually incredibly deep and complex. You show people the need to rethink their
assumptions, and confront them on everything from how they think to where they
build their houses. You might be one of the greatest people of all time. You'd
be recognized as such if you weren't always talking about talking rabbits.



Take the Book Quiz
at the Blue Pyramid.

Tuesday, August 09, 2005



I drove north to Port Townsend this morning, with my friend Olga, to celebrate the feast of St Herman of Alaska with the parish there(St Herman's in Port Townsend) :). Here's a picture of the outside of the building, taken on Friday when I visited my friend and choir director, who lives across the street. It was my first time inside, and there were many visitors, including some from Alaska, and more locally from our parish(St Elizabeth), St Spiridon(Seattle), and Holy Resurrection(Tacoma). It was a beautiful and joyous day.

Monday, August 08, 2005

"Indeed our Faith is alive, but we don't want to follow it, because it's a bit heavy and requires some commitments from our part. People want freedom and a descending slope so that they don't get tired and sweat, but they don't know that this descent leads to a bad end. The way of perdition looks initially good, happy and easy. It offers artificial delights and pleasure, but all this vanishes quickly. We must pray incessantly on their behalf. Perhaps some soul might be saved."

from: Papa Dimitri Gagastathis: The Man of God(1902-1975) Life, Miracles and Spiritual Counsels of a Simple Priest of Our Days
[Orthodoxos Kypseli Publications 1997]

Saturday, August 06, 2005

go see "March of the Penguins" now. just go.

Thursday, August 04, 2005

finally getting around to mimi's meme :)
five things i miss from childhood:
1.)road trips/family vacations...road trips as a kid were so cool. not having to do any of the driving, just looking out the window. playing games with my sisters, like "slug-a-bug", "twenty questions", the alphabet game. i loved stops, getting out of the car without shoes. sleeping in the car. road trips with the church youth group in high school, with friends. fighting over who got the longer back seat of the church van. restaraunt stops. seeing new places. we always took road trips with my mom and step-dad to lake tahoe, they had a cabin there when i was younger. i loved it. we took road trips with my dad every summer, went camping, boating, fishing, etc. road trip essentials: walkman, mix tapes, comfy pillow, comfy clothes, slippers, snacks & drinks. i never could read in a car, i still get sick.

2.)reading time...i would spend as much time as i could reading. i lived in books. some of my favorites(in no particular order): madeleine l'engle: a wrinkle in time, a wind in the door, a swiftly tilting planet; frances hodgson burnett: a little princess, the secret garden; l.m. montgomery: anne books (anne of green gables); laura ingalls wilder: little house books; carolyn keene: nancy drew; c.s. lewis: the chronicles of narnia; kenneth graham: the wind in the willows; penelope farmer: charlotte sometimes; george seldom: the cricket in times square; beverly cleary: ramona books, ralph the mouse books; judy blume: blubber, fudge, super fudge; roald dahl: charlie books, james and the giant peach, mmatilda; scott o'dell: island of the blue dolphins; j.r.r. tolkien: the hobbit and the lord of the rings; e.b. white: charlotte's web, stuart little, the trumpet and the swan.
i could go on and on.

3.)playing...imagination. being a kid was so cool. we built forts in the house with the furniture and blankets. went exploring in the hills. i took home every stray dog and cat i found, and a few birds, snakes and lizards. i had those toy horses, loads of those. we played with the horses, dolls, stuffed animals. went swimming. i loved swimming.

4.)anticipation...christmas, easter, the first day of school. what wonderful things are in store? everything was exciting, or scary.

5.)summertime...carefree days. vacation bible school. summer camps. vacations. trips to the beach. camping. drive-in movies. swimming in the pool all day. all that time to just be a kid.

tags: sara, aaron, xenia kathryn, janece

i had a mini emotional crisis of sorts this week. my ex e-mailed, and then left a message on my cell. he was "concerned," because he had a "premontion" in the form of a bad dream about me. without going into detail, all i'll say is that my e-mailed response was something like, forgive me if i don't put much stock in your concern considering what you did and planned to do to me(& premonitions?). it only upset me briefly, and it brought to mind st nikolai velimirovich. my situation was not the same at all, but here i am, and a lot of it is due to what i went through. would i have the same faith in Christ otherwise? i don't know. so there you go.

Bless My Enemies by St Nikolai

Bless my enemies, O Lord. Even I bless them and do not curse them.

Enemies have driven me into Thy embrace more than friends have.

Friends have bound me to earth, enemies have loosed me from earth and have demolished all my aspirations in the world.

Enemies have made me a stranger in worldly realms and an extraneous inhabitant of the world.

Just as a hunted animal finds safer shelter than an unhunted animal does, so have I, persecuted by enemies, found the safest sanctuary, having ensconced myself beneath Thy tabernacle, where neither friends nor enemies can slay my soul.

Bless my enemies, O Lord. Even I bless them and do not curse them.

They, rather than I, have confessed my sins before the world.

They have punished me, whenever I have hesitated to punish myself.

They have tormented me, whenever I have tried to flee torments.

They have scolded me, whenever I have flattered myself They have spat upon me, whenever I have filled myself with arrogance.

Bless my enemies, O Lord. Even I bless them and do not curse them.

Whenever I have made myself wise, they have called me foolish.

Whenever I have made myself mighty, they have mocked me as though I were a dwarf.

Whenever I have wanted to lead people, they have shoved me into the background.

Whenever I have rushed to enrich myself, they have prevented me with an iron hand.

Whenever I thought that I would sleep peacefully, they have wakened me from sleep.

Whenever I have tried to build a home for a long and tranquil life,they have demolished it and driven me out.

Truly, enemies have cut me loose from the world and have stretched out my hands to the hem of Thy garment.

Bless my enemies, O Lord. Even I bless them and do not curse them.

Bless them and multiply them; multiply them and make them even more bitterly against me:

so that my fleeing to Thee may have no return;

so that all hope in men may be scattered like cobwebs;

so that absolute serenity may begin to reign in my soul;

so that my heart may become the grave of my two evil twins: arrogance and anger;

so that I might amass all my treasure in heaven;

ah, so that I may for once be freed from self deception, which has entangled me in the dreadful web of illusory life.

Enemies have taught me to know what hardly anyone knows, that a person has no enemies in the world except himself.

One hates his enemies only when he fails to realize that they are not enemies, but cruel friends.

It is truly difficult for me to say who has done me more good and who has done me more evil in the world: friends or enemies.

Therefore bless, O Lord, both my friends and my enemies.

A slave curses enemies, for he does not understand.

But a son blesses them, for he understands. For a son knows that his enemies cannot touch his life. Therefore he freely steps among them and prays to God for them.

Bless my enemies, O Lord. Even I bless them and do not curse them.

Wednesday, August 03, 2005

ok, i found out about the book. "soul, body & death", by rev. l. puhalo. the light & life page has a revised ed for $15. amazon has an out of print one that you can buy used for $59. my friend said it's published by synaxis press, and from the monastery of all saints in north america.

Monday, August 01, 2005


Jenny and Jeff just after ceremony.


Edmonds in background.

I went to my friend Jenny's wedding on Saturday in Belfair. It was outside, and very hot. You can see the Hood Canal behind them. On the way home all the cars were stopped on the highway, and started turning around. Black smoke came billowing up and a fire truck rushed by. There was a car on fire on the side of the road. I hadn't turned around because there was no other way to get home. It didn't actually take all that long, and at least I had air-conditioning.
I went sailing the next day, with my live-aboard friends. A 10.5 hour sailing trip. :) Sailed through Agate Pass to Puget Sound, and around to Kingston. That night we were on Puget Sound in the dark, under the stars, listening to classical music. It was beautiful.
Sunday morning we had the pleasure of having Fr Michael with us from St Andrew's. He was a frequent visitor before being attached there. His sermon was on the importance of deacons, and the deaconate as established by God, not just as a step to the priesthood, but as it's own vocation. Also an interesting discussion at coffe hour on this book, I can't remember the title or author. Something about the soul, body and death. That western philosophy separated the mind from the heart, that we live as if only led by our minds, that we are just a brain. So this is about teachings about the heart, the soul, spirit, body, death, etc. It was a very good discussion, someone else wrote down what book it was.