Tuesday, September 28, 2004

when you are real

"What is REAL?" asked the Rabbit one day, when they were lying side by side near the nursery fender, before Nana came to tidy the room. "Does it mean having things that buzz inside you and a stick-out handle?"

"Real isn't how you are made," said the Skin Horse. "It's a thing that happens to you. When a child loves you for a long, long time, not just to play with, but REALLY loves you, then you become Real."

"Does it hurt?" asked the Rabbit.

"Sometimes," said the Skin Horse, for he was always truthful. "When you are Real you don't mind being hurt."

"Does it happen all at once, like being wound up," he asked, "or bit by bit?"

"It doesn't happen all at once," said the Skin Horse. "You become. It takes a long time. That's why it doesn't happen often to people who break easily, or have sharp edges, or who have to be carefully kept. Generally, by the time you are Real, most of your hair has been loved off, and your eyes drop out and you get loose in your joints and very shabby. But these things don't matter at all, because once you are Real you can't be ugly, except to people who don't understand."

Margery Williams, The Velveteen Rabbit or How Toys Become Real

cousin's baby...likes her peas Posted by Hello


Reading, after a certain age, diverts the mind too much from its creative pursuits. Any man who reads too much and uses his own brain too little falls into lazy habits of thinking.
Albert Einstein

Saturday, September 25, 2004

ode to joy

sunny afternoon (if you can believe it...) Posted by Hello

i think it's a yawn Posted by Hello

sitting at the marina Posted by Hello

Tuesday, September 21, 2004

Avast Ye Scurvy Dogs

Just had a rather interesting book club discussion of Dostoyevsky, more specifically the chapters "Rebellion" and "The Grand Inquisitor" from The Brothers Karamazov. More on that later. Now for something completely different...

I needed some light and fun reading, so I picked up Peter and the Starcatchers. Light and fun indeed. I've always had a love for Peter Pan and pirates, so I'm happy. Swashbuckling adventure on the high seas. One of the "lost stories", how Peter and Captain Hook met, how Peter came to Never Land, and how Never Land got its name. Not quite done yet, but I'm sure to be finished in the next day or two. It's very quick reading, which puts me in the mood for more pirate tales.

Now it's time to run off to work.

Monday, September 20, 2004

movie quote

"Music, you know, true music, not just rock n roll, it chooses you. It lives in your car, or alone, listening to your headphones, you know the vast scenic bridges and angelic choirs in your brain. It's a place apart from the vast, benign lap of America."
Any guesses?


Autumn is almost *officially* here. Leaves are already turning shades of red and yellow. I can smell the wood stoves burning. Darkness comes early. There's crispness in the air. Get out the coats, mittens and hats. :) Oh, and scarves... warm, fluffy ones.
It was COLD last night. I left work late, and my truck windows were almost frosted! I have a feeling it's going to be the coldest winter I've seen here. I bought some socks at Costco which claim on the label to be "the world's softest socks". I haven't tried socks from all over the world, but these are the softest I've felt. :) Should keep my feet warm on the wood floors.

Friday, September 17, 2004


don't go into Target alone. not safe. I came home with a DVD, SNL best of Christopher Walken. But it's got what's possibly my favorite sketch ever, "I need more cowbell!"

Tuesday, September 14, 2004

photo of the day

Poulsbo Marina. Posted by Hello
Having fun with my old digital camera, wandered around taking pictures (between Liturgy and work). I posted the rest of them here.


my phone is being stalked by a fax machine. argh. i hear beeping in my head. i can't answer the phone.

hope of glory

I've been pondering the following passage this weekend:
Therefore, since we are justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ. Through Him we have obtained access to this grace in which we stand, and we rejoice in our hope of sharing the glory of God. More than that, we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, and hope does not dissapoint us, because God's love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit which has been given to us.
Romans 5:1-5

I felt something growing inside of me the past few weeks, a sort of "What now?" feeling. The whole past year had goals, things happening: new job, new faith, moving, moving again, um... moving again. :) So, now what? It's easy enough to focus on those external things, now it's just me and God. I feel really blessed though, I have a church with amazing people, I have a job I love. I complain about it enough, but how awesome to be able to do what I do. I've decided, while I can hope for little things, I need to keep my hope in God. I guess the "what now" is to continue working out my salvation "with fear and trembling".

I don't talk about world events, mostly because things happening lately in the world make me very sad. What can I do with words? As much as I post, I'm not very comfortable with words. I end up talking about myself a lot, but it helps me work things out. This all makes me think I take myself way too seriously, but I'm pretty goofy off the internet. I get on the computer my sense of humor vanishes. strange...

Sunday, September 12, 2004

everyday i wake up and it's sunday

Spent Sunday afternoon reading Dostoyevsky at the laundromat. Only 150 pages or so left in The Brothers Karamazov, after all this time. But now we are reading one of the chapters for the next book club meeting, Ivan and Alyosha's discussion of suffering, how timely. Anyhow, I'm almost done with my copy. I'm glad I've read it. On the way to the laundromat I missed a turn, and kept driving for a while before I noticed. I should have turned around as soon as I realized, since I needed gas. But I figured, I'm in Bremerton, there's got to be a gas station coming up sometime... well, not really as it turned out. I did get to a gas station eventually, whew. Crazy girl. ;) I like just driving around and exploring though, I used to do it in Seattle all the time, haven't done it here till today(though it wasn't planned). Should've stopped and taken pictures, the sun came out and I had my compactflash IN my camera today (instead of in the computer). Oh well, next time.

Garden State

Went to the movies, saw Garden State. Excellent. Zach Braff (of TV's Scrubs) wrote, directed, and starred in this funny and sweet movie. Just a little movie about four days (or so) in the life of an unemployed actor (working as a waiter at a Vietnamese restaurant) who goes back home to New Jersey for his mother's funeral, and leaves his psych meds back in LA. Very interesting effects used, with people zooming around him, to show his emotional state. Kind of a journey... his awakening to emotions off the medications. Lots of funny moments. Natalie Portman was also excellent. The soundtrack is wonderful, the right music really does a lot for a movie. Anywho, it was very enjoyable, and I laughed. :) Go see it.

Wednesday, September 08, 2004

Look at my mangy beast ;)

Nani towering over the one month-old kitten (taken back in June). Posted by Hello

Monday, September 06, 2004

late night omelettes, coffee, and second-hand cigarette smoke

This is for Chance and Cybil, since Chance introduced me to Beth's Cafe when I moved here. The best omelettes around, and crayon drawings by patrons covering the grey walls. I'm not really sure that you can still smoke inside, but it doesn't matter to me. I found their website, and thought I'd share. I also added it to my links on the side, along with some other area stuff. In any case, I'm itching to cruise over to Seattle soon and just bum around.

Where is my mind?

The following is an actual conversation I had with a patient at work Saturday night:

[him] "Where's the closest walk-on ferry?"
{me} "Kingston or Bainbridge Island."
[him] "Where does Kingston let you off?"
{me} "In Edmonds."
[him] *groan*
{me} "Where are you trying to get to?"
[him] "Here!" *gestures wildly*
{me} "Well if you're trying to get here and you are already here, why don't you just stay here and save yourself a trip?"
[him] "You're complicating things something fierce."
{me} "I thought I was simplifying things..."
[him] "So how much is the passenger fare coming back?"

This is a non-Alzheimer's patient. It could just be my strange sense of humor, but I found it very funny.
I had Friday off of work, and I took my dog in with me when I went to pick up my pay check. We visited patients on my unit, and on the Alzheimer's unit. It was really touching to see how peoples faces lit up when they held her and pet her. They just come alive like you don't see very often, reminds me of the good we do for people (it's easy to forget). Those little things are especially important in this "line of work"... taking CARE of people, spending a little time, giving some love. Even just a couple of minutes sitting and talking with someone, it means a lot to them.
It's very funny to see the dog running around the house sliding on the wood floors. I'm relieved to be moved and set up. Ahhhhhh. Now on to other things.

Wednesday, September 01, 2004

pixie dust

the pixies (one of the greatest bands IMHO) will be playing bumbershoot on Monday, of course I have to work... (I'm taking time off in October, so I can't whine too much) at least it's holiday pay. I'll still pout. It's the pixies afterall. Gosh.
Got this story in a parish e-mail...
Pope returns rare icon to Russia
A Vatican cardinal has handed a precious icon back to the Russian Orthodox Church in Moscow as a personal gift from Pope John Paul II.
The image is an 18th-Century copy of one of Russia's most sacred images, the Virgin of Kazan, and was bought in the West by Roman Catholics in 1970.

Happy New Year
It's one year officially that I've been attending St Elizabeth, and also one year since I left the "Eastside", and started my current job. I can't believe how fast the last year went by!
I finally got to roast some coffee, mmmmm. :D I think this'll be a habit. I even got my dad hooked, he went home with three pounds of green beans. Reminds me of something...
Name that movie quote: "Back when I was pickin' beans in Guatemala, we used to make fresh coffee, right of the trees I mean. That was good. This is [sh*t], but hey, I'm in a police station."

Father Seraphim Rose

It is in accepting given situations, which requires a loving heart, that one encounters God. This loving heart is why anyone comes to a knowledge of the truth, even though God sometimes has to break down and humble a heart to make it receptive...
from God's Revelation to the Human Heart